Ever read every word on a Dr. Bronner’s soap bottle? This guy’s about to …

Elijah Olson will read the entire label of a Dr. Bronner’s soap bottle at 6 p.m. Friday. Photo by Robbie Searcy

Ever read all the fine print on a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s pure castile soap?

Don’t worry, we haven’t either. But we’re excited to hear that University of Texas studentĀ  Eli Olson plans to turn it into poetry when he hosts a reading of the text, in its entirety, at an Austin park tomorrow.

The “Dr. Bronner’s Soap Bottle Reading” is scheduled for 6-7 p.m. Friday at Hemphill Park, 201 West 30th Street.

“As the last rays of summer sunlight fade into fall, join me on the grassy slopes of Hemphill Park as I read, unabridged, the complete text of a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Lavender Soap,” Olson wrote on a Facebook page advertising the event. “Possibly while perched on a tree. The event is free, but I’ll be accepting donations to cover soap costs.”

Olson, 20, says the event started as a joke, but he really does plan to do it. He plans to use his “best Southern preacher/shaman’s voice.”

“I was in the shower one day and reading the soap, and thought, ‘Hey, it would be really funny to say I’m going to read the soap in front of everybody and then actually do it. I had no idea it would blow up like it did.”

The label is notoriously strange, with normal stuff like ingredients and uses, and a lot of really weird stuff we can’t explain. Read the text from a bottle of the company’s baby soap here.

Natural Grocers will donate soap for the event. Olson says he will set up a wash station “so you can bathe you and your loved ones in magical pure castile soap.”

Olson invites attendees to bring their own labels or brands to read, soap or otherwise. “Maybe we can get a cool label reading thing going,” he said.

As of noon Thursday, nearly 300 people had RSVPed for the event.

“It’s hilarious and intriguing, and how many of us have not read the words on that label?” said Robbie Searcy, who said she may attend.

The reading will take place in the main part of the park, behind the fire station and near the basketball court, Olson said. “You will know of the true soap bottle reader as I will be swathed in a multi-colored blanket,” Olson wrote.

See the event page here.

Author: Pam LeBlanc

Pam LeBlanc writes about fitness and travel for the Austin American-Statesman. She has worked for the Statesman since 1998 and written her weekly fitness column, Fit City, since 2004.

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